Conscious Contact

I can practice maintaining "conscious contact" with my Higher Power as I experience my day by:

• pausing the "brain chatter" that occupies my mind
• suspending judgement and maintaining an open mind and heart
• looking for the blessings in all things
• paying attention to the present moment and the beauty there-in
• asking the question, "What would be most loving?"
• calmly making choices to do the next right thing
• thanking my HP for being lovingly and powerfully present
• knowing that God has got my back

Please God make me willing and able.

For the life of me, I could not get myself out there to exercise.  I would wake up when the alarm went off and turn it off.  I would tell myself a variety of reasons why today, I did not need to exercise.  Like:  I would exercise later; it was too cold; too hot; drizzling; my feet hurt; my neck hurt; I was tired; depressed; too busy today; too sleepy…and on and on.

Then I remembered hearing, “Pray for the willingness and the ability.”  Or maybe I read it in the literature.  Anyway, I remembered and I did it.  Last night I did it, and this morning.  “God, please make me willing and able to get out there and walk in the morning.” 

This morning the alarm went off at 5:33AM.  And I shut it off and prayed, “God please give me the willingness and the ability to get out of bed and walk now.”  I kept praying.  Then a miracle happened, I pulled off the covers and got out of bed!  Quickly got on my shorts (the larger size), shirt and hat and I was off! 

It was a beautiful morning.  Lots of fog and cool air.  When I got to the top of the look-out I took a picture.  There was the bending trail and then a bench on the precipice.  Beyond that only foggy nothingness.  Very strange.  I thought, “this is like my life.  I can’t see.  I am blind to know what to do or where to go.  I don’t know, but God does.  ‘I need you God!  I need your guidance.  I turn my will and my life over to Your care.  Your will be done and not mine.  Lead me and guide me.  I turn it all over to You God.  Every moment I have left of this life, every thought, every word, every action.  May my life be as You would most delight God!” 

I heard footsteps behind me, I lowered my outstretched hands and turned around to face the next in line to see this wonder.  “Beautiful view.”  I smiled and they agreed, chuckling.  I walked back on the trail home.  I had been renewed.  Conscious contact made and appreciated.

I continued to walk home.  So grateful for this morning meditation time and repeating, “God please make me willing and able to live as You would most delight.  Please make me willing and able to get up in the morning and exercise.”

Attempting to take on the Higher Power's Job?!?

Higher Power, please give me the willingness and the ability to pause the mental chatter, quiet myself and seek your guidance and your will.

 I need a rest from my mental obsession with trying to control the future.  It is exhausting to try and “protect” everyone from every possible dangerous scenario or problem they may encounter in their individual futures.  It is exhausting to attempt to take on the Higher Power’s job and believe that it is my responsibility.

If God and I worked in the same office, I would constantly be “forgetting” where my desk is and sitting down at God’s work station.  (Annoying? I would like to think, God finds it endearing.)  “God, could you at least just sit on half of your office chair, while I squeeze in on the other half?!  No?  OK then how about if I drag my chair over and wedge it right next to yours so I can peer over your shoulder?  I just want to make sure you get this resolved correctly.  I am not saying that I know better than you do, I just am afraid that you are taking too much time to get this taken care of.  I am only trying to be helpful.  You don’t need my help?!  Ohh…  Well…. Yes, I do have other things I could do.  Like…well….  OK yes, brush my teeth, take a shower, clean up the clutter around my area, and do some other self-care.  I guess I could go for a walk.  Maybe enjoy the day.  OK then.  Thank you.  Glad we had this talk.”

Living Amends to Myself

I am aware today of the power of words. What words do I use when I am talking to myself?  Just for today, I ask my HP for help in recognizing the language and tone of voice I use when I say things to myself. 

I have allowed cruel language to be used in harsh self judgement of myself.  In a meeting today, we were discussing Step Nine.  I realize that the most powerful amends that I can make is to myself.  To make amends means to CHANGE my behavior. 

Just for today I will practice saying kind and loving things to myself or not saying anything at all.  When I see myself in the mirror:  “You are loved by your HP more than you can begin to imagine with your mind!”  “The Power that loves you is the Greatest Power that exists!”  “You are created out of infinite love and that love shines from within you.” 

When I make a mistake:  You are going through a lot sweetheart.  I will be gentle, kind and loving with myself today.  You are doing the best you can in a very challenging situation.  It’s OK love.  Do not worry.  You are loved and treasured.  What would be the most loving thing that I could do for myself now?

HP, please help me talk to myself as You would have me.  Help me to love myself and treat myself as You would delight in me doing so.

Let Go

Letting Go
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go"is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To "let go" is to fear less, and to love more.
[Author Unknown]

Practicing Meditation

I was practicing meditation today.  I like to see myself as practicing and therefore I can experiment and feel free to make mistakes and try new things.

Today my practice was while sitting on an exercise ball.  You know one of those large balls that you can sit on.  Sitting still can sometimes be difficult when you are a person such as me, that is practicing meditation.  :)  So you can grab one of those and join me if you like.  

While closing my eyes and clearing my mind of all thoughts and distractions, I started thinking about the first two steps of the program.  I started using them as the focus of my meditation.

I am powerless and life is unmanageable.  Sometimes I can waste a lot of time and energy trying to be powerful and have every thing/person managed well.  When I am striving for power and manageability in order to feel peaceful, life gets nuts really quickly.  Then it came to me:  God can restore me to sanity.  A Power much Greater than me, can and will restore me to sanity.  I don't need to try and "manufacture" sanity through attempts at control and getting things to go "my way".  What a concept!

God, please restore me to sanity.  May I enter your Loving Presence now and often, to seek sanity.  You are my source of sanity and peace of mind.  Not getting things to go the way I think they need to based on my limited perspective.  Higher Power please wash over me and cleanse me with your loving sanity.  Then I paused for some deep breaths.  "I need you."

Please use me to be of service to you and to others, like so many who came before me.  "Restore me to sanity."  More deep and peaceful breaths.  Thoughts are still and peaceful in my HP's presence.  "Thank you HP!"  Your will be done and not mine.

Time seeking my HP as the source of my sanity is well spent.

I turn it over to my Higher Power.

For me to have a chance of experiencing my life with serenity, this is how I picture my working relationship with my HP:  I am like the little kid that brings the parent a toy to fix.  The child asks for help and puts the toy in the parent's hands.  Then, confident it will be taken care of, I run back to go play and enjoy.

This is a formula for my serenity:  I have unsettling thoughts or fear thoughts about something.

I immediately turn it over to my HP.  My HP deeply understands it much more than I.

I see it in my HP's "hands" (loving care).  My HP turns it around in my HP's "hands" and examines it.  

Then I can run and "go play", confident that it will be taken care of.  

God, help me to put the issue of _________________________ into your loving hands and know that you understand the whole thing, much better than I do.  May I forget about it, and go and enjoy the day, confident that you are taking care of it.  Thank you for the gift of new perspective that comes from seeing _________________ securely in your loving care.  Thank you!

Breathe!

Just for today, I remember to breathe deeply when I am unsettled by anxious thoughts.

Breathing in deeply I say, "Higher Power in" and then I exhale and say, "everything else out" and imagine all that is not of my HP (any fear, worries, anxious thoughts, resentments) being released out of me and floating away.  Breathing in again, "Higher Power in", and I imagine myself immersed in my HP's unconditional and infinitely Loving Presence...and then exhaling "everything else out"....and I feel all my cares and concerns being lifted and fading into nothing.    I repeat this for as long as is helpful. 


Thank you Higher Power for your infinite loving and powerful presence.  I trust that the power of your love and care for me and my family, is the greatest power that exists.  Help me to relax into the beauty of your peaceful presence.  All is well.




The term, "Higher Power" above, refers to God as you understand God.